


Thanksgiving

by ElentariR



Series: Getting Back to Myself [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Recovering, Developing Relationship, F/M, Noelle - Freeform, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Thanksgiving Dinner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 18:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7372579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElentariR/pseuds/ElentariR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Between Noelle's brother-in-law knowing and Noelle's father's perceptiveness, Bucky has a Thanksgiving that he won't forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So...progress! Yay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the hell was this happening. What the hell was happening.

Noelle did invite Bucky to eat Thanksgiving dinner with her family. It was her turn to host the dinner, as Steven had mentioned. Bucky wasn’t entirely certain how all of them would comfortably fit in her apartment, but Noelle insisted that they would just be extra cozy. “If at any point it’s too much...” Noelle had trailed off but he understood.

She was always looking out for him. It was strange. And sometimes it irked Bucky. But he appreciated that he could always count on her support. She was a real gem. There was no mistake about that.

Thanksgiving dinner in the Barnes household had always been a formal affair. They wore their best suits and dresses. Although it frustrated him as a child – he would get a tongue lashing if he dirtied his clothes – he had appreciated it when he reached his teenaged years; the next door neighbors had a cute daughter that was about his age, and he knew he looked good in his suit. She had thought so, too.

Thanksgiving dinner in the Grey household, however, was less formal. He had been instructed that jeans and a nice shirt – perhaps a sweater or a button-up – would be more than sufficient. Part of Bucky wanted to celebrate Thanksgiving the Barnes way. He knew Noelle liked to dress up and she so rarely got that opportunity. And he knew she would look magnificent. Dressing formally for Thanksgiving felt...familiar, too. Almost as if he would find part of himself by hearkening back to the old days. Seeing Noelle in a nice dress would only be an added benefit. Not that he found Noelle attractive.

Except he did.

“I’m not him anymore.” Bucky reminded himself as he tugged the black sweater over his head. “And that’s okay.”

He didn’t own many nice pieces of clothing – mainly only long-sleeved t-shirts – but he did have a few sweaters. They were comfortable and allowed him freedom of movement, which was essential for any garment. And they covered his metal arm – another essential.

Bucky knocked on Noelle’s door at ten in the morning. “Mr. James! Mr. James! Mr. James is here!” Steven was particularly perky that morning it seemed.

His heart skipped a few beats. He could hear chatter and laughter inside. Her family had already arrived. He would be forced to socialize. It would be hell, but he wanted to be there. He did want to meet Noelle’s family, but it was unfortunate that it would require that they meet him, too.

The door swung open. Steven greeted him with an enthusiastic and tight hug. Their height difference made it difficult for Bucky to tentatively return the hug, but he did his best.

A middle-aged woman whose honey hair was sprinkled with grey stood just behind Steven, curiously observing the exchange. Noelle was the spitting image of her mother. Noelle’s father stood just over his wife’s shoulder. Both smiled broadly, welcomingly, when he made eye contact. Bucky managed a small smile.

He hoped it was friendly.

“Grandma, Grandpa, this is Mr. James!” Steven took Bucky’s hand – his exposed left hand – and led him into the apartment. Bucky could hear Noelle talking quietly in the kitchen.

Noelle’s mother stepped forward first. The brief lift of her arms told Bucky that Noelle had warned them against surprise physical contact, particularly hugs. Her mother opted for an offer of a handshake instead, which he accepted.

“It is so nice to finally meet you. I’m Grace, Noelle’s mother. Steven has told us so much about you.” Steven tugged on Bucky’s arm. Bucky glanced down at him to find Steven grinning and nodding.

“It is good to meet you, too, ma’am. James Smith.” Her responding smile was warm. Bucky liked her. There was a twinkle in her eyes – like she knew something he didn’t – that made him cautious, but she seemed much like Noelle.

Noelle’s father shook his hand next. “Glad to meet you, James. I’m Bill King – the dad.”

“It’s good to meet you, sir. James Smith.”

“Please, call me Bill.”

Bucky nodded. “Yes, sir.” Bill raised an eyebrow. “Bill.” The older man smiled.

Grace Thomas was a petite woman, like her daughter. Bill Thomas, however, was more substantial than his wife and daughter. He stood as tall as Bucky, and just as broad shouldered. Bill’s waistline suggested that Grace kept him well-fed and happy, though he was not an overly large man. Bucky remembered Noelle explaining that Grace was a retired nurse; Bill had been a Navy officer. Bucky supposed he could forgive the man. He did give birth to Noelle, after all.

“You gotta meet the baby!” Steven began to tug Bucky away from his grandparents. “She sleeps a lot. Mom says babies do that. I’m not allowed to touch her ‘cause I’m too young. But you’re old, so you can probably touch her.” Behind him, Bucky heard Grace snicker.

If they only knew.

“What does that make your grandma and grandpa?” Bill asked, sneaking up behind Steven. He poked his grandson playfully.

Steven looked up at him gravely. “Really old.”

Noelle emerged from the kitchen. She was drying her hands. A flour-splattered apron covered her cranberry sweater and blue jeans. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail.

Bucky smiled. It was good to see her cheeks flushed and eyes bright – she was happy.

“Oh, James! I’m glad you could make it.” Her hand grazed his arm. “You met my parents, I see.” Noelle grinned. She wrapped her left arm around Steven in a loose hug. “Joy and Mike are in the bedroom with Avery. I’m sure they’ll wander out soon enough. Little Avery’s just hungry.”

Bill chuckled. “She has her father’s appetite.”

Noelle rolled her eyes. “She has a tiny stomach, Dad.”

“Can I help with anything?” Bucky asked. His eyes lingered on Noelle before they skimmed over the occupants of the room. There was that twinkle in Grace’s eyes again.

Noelle tilted her head. “Not yet. The turkey’s in the oven and the sides are as done as they can be for now.”

“I was just about to turn the TV on and watch the parade.” Bill spoke up, the offer for others to join him understood.

“But he hasn’t met Avery yet!” Steven protested. Noelle touched his shoulder gently.

“Avery’s eating her lunch now, sweetie. Mr. James will meet her soon, I promise.”

Steven pouted but didn’t protest more. Noelle looked over Steven’s head and gave Bucky a small smile. Bucky hitched a shoulder.

He heard Noelle’s bedroom door open and quiet voices moving towards the living room where the family was congregated. Movement in the corner of his eye. Noelle rose from the couch and led the two adults into the living room. Joy took after her father more, but there was a strong sisterly resemblance. She held a tiny bundle in her arms. The man – Mike, based on the way his arm was wrapped around Joy’s waist – surveyed the room with a pleasant smile. He was a man enamored by his wife and daughter. Although he was youthful, Bucky estimated Mike was several years older than his wife.

Bucky stood when Noelle looked back at him. She inclined her head slightly, inviting him to join them.

“James, this is my sister Joy and my brother-in-law, Mike Dunmyre. And this precious thing is my niece Avery.” Noelle stepped slightly to her right, allowing Bucky a better view of Joy and the baby. Her hand grazed his arm. Noelle fairly beamed with pride.

The large man gave him pause. Mike, too, was an Army veteran and had not lost his physique. He operated a security firm so it was to be expected.

Mike’s eyes had narrowed slightly, his gaze intense. Bucky kept his frown from his face. They shook hands. Their grip was tight. Mike’s eyes never left his.

Mike knew who he was.

Noelle glanced between the two men. Color drained from her face.

“It’s good to meet you.” Bucky spoke first.

“Likewise.”

“Everything okay in here?” Bill placed himself between his daughters and the other men. He was an observant man.

“Yeah.” Mike said. He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was wary. “Everything’s great. James here just reminded me of someone.”

No one really believed him, but everyone let it drop.

“I’ve got one of those faces.” Bucky kept his tone light. He sent Noelle a reassuring half-smile.

“Dinner will be ready soon.” Noelle chose the moment to interject. “Steven, why don’t you show Uncle Mike and Aunt Joy your new toy?”

It worked like a charm. No one could resist Steven’s innocent exuberance.

Noelle pulled Bucky into the kitchen. She kept her voice hushed. “How does Mike know?”

Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. If he was in Washington D.C., he may have visited the museum – seen the exhibit. My face is pretty hard to miss.”

Noelle winced. “Yeah. He was there.” She looked up at him. “Do you think he knows about...the other?”

“He might.” Bucky didn’t know for certain. “After the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., a lot of their files were leaked onto the Internet. I may have been in one. Other intelligence organizations have heard whispers about...the other. I don’t know what his connections are. So, yeah, it’s possible.”

Noelle pinched the bridge of her nose. “He knows some pretty important people. He’s got connections in high places.”

Bucky was quiet for a moment. He could hear Steven chattering in the living room. Joy laughed at something.

“How much do you trust him?” Bucky asked. He searched her face.

“I trust him with my life.”

Bucky nodded. She hadn’t hesitated.

Noelle placed a hand on his arm. She was standing close. Bucky felt the urge to envelop her in a hug. He took comfort from the distraction Noelle provided – that woman was a gem – though his mind was still largely occupied by the obstacle Mike Dunmyre provided. The man was an unknown entity. He was dangerous. Paranoia began to set in.

“What can I do?” Noelle asked softly.

He didn’t know.

Bucky immediately straightened when Mike stepped into the doorway. He angled his body between Noelle and her brother-in-law. Noelle took a deep breath. Mike silently observed the two. He moved farther into the kitchen.

“Mike...” Noelle trailed off. Her brother-in-law studied her.

“You know.”

Noelle nodded. “But Steven doesn’t.”

Mike turned to Bucky. He gestured at Bucky’s left arm. “How much have you told her?”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t appreciate the interrogation. Noelle gently squeezed his arm before sliding in front of him. Bucky tensed. He kept a careful eye on Mike’s body language.

“Mike, Bucky is not a bad guy. I don’t know what you’ve heard, or what you think. But please trust me.” Her voice was firm, but almost pleading. Mike kept his eyes on Bucky, assessing him.

“So you know about the Winter Soldier.”

Noelle nodded. “Yes, I do.” That made Mike’s eyes fly to Noelle. He was clearly surprised. “He isn’t that guy, Mike. And if you know about the Winter Soldier, you know about HYRDA. James isn’t a villain. He was a victim.”

Noelle looked over her shoulder at Bucky. She looked him in the eyes, though she spoke to Mike. “I trust James with my life, and with Steven’s.” She looked back at Mike. “In fact, I already have. He saved my life – that time I was attacked? James was that good Samaritan. And who do you think watched Steven while Joy was giving birth? Besides, I doubt HYDRA would take much interest in little old me; they would hardly allow their best assassin to be spending his time this way. Use your brain, Mike. I know you have one. There’s no angle for them to play here.”

Mike silently digested the information. He studied Bucky. “You got anything to say about all this?” Mike said finally.

He did.

Bucky took a step closer. “My name is James Buchanan Barnes. I’m not the Winter Soldier, not anymore. I’ve got a past – one I’m not particularly proud of. But it’s the past. And we all got things we ain’t proud of. Anyone who’s served in a war knows that. But I would never hurt Noelle or Steven.” He took a breath, collected his thoughts. His eyes met Noelle’s. She was fighting tears. He sent her a fleeting smile. “All I want is a normal life.”

Mike took a moment. At length, he nodded and extended his hand. “It’s good to meet you, James.”

Bucky inclined his head and shook the other man’s hand. “It’s good to meet you, too, Mike.”

Noelle’s smile was pleased.

Steven dashed into the kitchen. “Mom! Uncle Mike! Mr. James! Come _on_! You’re missing the parade!”

A mischievous grin spread across Mike’s face. He squatted down. Steven seemed to light up. “We can’t have that now, can we?” Mike lunged forward, scooping Steven up in his arms. He carried a squealing and laughing Steven into the living room by his ankles.

Noelle laughed softly. “It’s their thing.” She explained with a shrug. Bucky had turned curious eyes to her. “I don’t understand it, but it doesn’t hurt him and Steven loves it.” Her eyes searched his face, all smiles gone. Her hand was on his lower arm again, dangerously close to holding his hand.

Bucky inhaled and nodded. “I’m okay.” He answered her unspoken question.

Noelle nodded.

“How is your finger? I see you’ve been busy in here.” He noticed her absentmindedly fiddling with the splint. The distraction didn’t hurt.

Noelle laughed softly. “It’s fine. It’s been almost a month, you know. The splint’s coming off for good soon. But I appreciate your concern.” She gently poked his arm. “And I’ve had help in the kitchen this morning; don’t you go worrying about me.”

She was standing mere inches from him, but he felt himself leaning closer. She didn’t move away. “I can’t be concerned for your well-being?”

Noelle rolled her eyes, but she smiled.

Bucky leaned against the counter with a quirked eyebrow. “You _never_ worry about me.”

“That’s not the point, mister.” Noelle huffed.

Bucky grinned.

Grace poked her head in the kitchen before she entered fully. “Don’t mind me. I’m just going to finish the potatoes.” She took up her position at the counter next to the sink. “Your dad is going to help set the table with Steven. He’s starting to get hangry.”

“Which one?”

“Both.” Grace and Noelle laughed. Bucky shifted on his feet. A brief smile flitted across his face. He observed their behavior, the way they interacted – sharing smiles and jokes, little touches. They worked in a pattern that was familiar to them. It was clear that they were close. Noelle came from a loving family.

He felt honored, but unworthy of being included.

Bucky quietly removed himself from the kitchen. He lingered on the edge of the living room, the kitchen just behind him. His vantage point provided an excellent view of the room and its inhabitants. Joy sat with Avery in her lap on the couch, her father next to her. Mike stood behind her. They were watching the parade. Steven had his tub of Legos on the floor in front of him.

Bucky folded himself onto the ground across from Steven. “Mind if I join you?”

Steven shrugged. He was intent on his skyscraper creation. “I have to get this finished.” He muttered.

Bucky nodded. “Need any help?”

Steven shook his head.

Bucky nodded and glanced away. “Mind if I build something?”

Steven pushed the tub towards him. Bucky laughed softly and dug in. There was something therapeutic about the simple toys. He and Steven worked in relative silence. It was an enjoyable way to pass the time until Grace announced that the food would be ready in fifteen minutes. Steven jumped up with a whoop.

The men set the table under Joy’s supervision. Noelle’s table sat four comfortably, but a folding table was pushed to one end to provide additional seating. Someone – probably Noelle – had draped a cream colored table cloth over the tables.

Noelle and Grace began carrying out the food – Noelle holding the dishes very carefully. Grace’s pursed lips and frequent glances at her daughter indicated that Noelle was carrying the dishes against her mother’s wishes.

Bucky moved around the table to be closer to Noelle. “No, Mom and I got it.” Noelle’s said, briefly glancing at him.

Bucky’s lips quirked upward. She had anticipated him. “Yes, ma’am.”

“He’s a gentleman. I like that.” Grace whispered to Noelle. Pink tinged Noelle’s cheek. She nodded and quietly confirmed her mother’s statement.

Pride swelled in Bucky’s chest.

Bill sat at the head of the table with Mike at the opposite end. Bucky sat between Grace and Joy, and opposite Noelle. He tentatively held the women’s hands when Bill led the family in prayer. Grace had glanced down at his metal hand when she took it, but she didn’t seem perturbed in the least.

“I’ll get out the book after we eat.” Grace said as Bill began carving the turkey.

“We have a book that we write in every year.” Joy explained as she dipped a generous portion of mashed potatoes. “Just whatever we’re thankful for. It’s our way of remembering, making ourselves reflect. And it’s a good way of remembering past years.”

“It’s a pain is what it is.” Mike grumbled with a good-natured half-smile. He dipped himself a large helping of turkey.

“It’s tradition.” Noelle stated firmly. “And it’s nice.”

“Even I have to do it.” Steven screwed up his face. “Mom says so. Avery’s too little, so she’s getting out of it. She’s lucky.” He looked up at his mom. “Is Mr. James gonna do it this year?”

Noelle looked at Bucky. Her eyes always seemed to penetrate his soul. “I would very much like him to.”

Bucky was going to write in the book.

He nodded. Noelle smiled broadly.

The food was plentiful and delicious. Bucky was informed by Noelle and Grace that he was taking leftovers home with him. Joy hadn’t said anything, but her facial expression communicated volumes. The women had spoken.

Conversation flowed easily. Laughter abounded. Bucky remained largely silent, though he engaged in conversation when appropriate. He basked in the happy environment the family created.

He periodically glanced warily at Mike. The man seemed uninclined to create any trouble for Bucky, but that only mildly assuaged his paranoia. Mike’s behavior was polite – almost friendly. He seemed to have been genuine in his acceptance of Bucky. Bucky took some comfort from knowing that any retaliation against him would be likely to also hurt Noelle and Steven – a clear deterrent for Mike taking action.

The incident with Mike, though, reinforced an idea that Bucky had been tossing around since he had told Noelle about his past. Whether Bucky liked it or not, Noelle and Steven had become targets because of their close association with him. They would need to create a plan – a safe codes and a safe place of refuge, at least – should something occur. Noelle may not like it, but they would have to do it.

Dessert was saved for later upon general consensus. Bucky was the only one at the table who didn’t feel like they were bursting at the seams, though even he was feeling heavy. He had eaten two whole heaping plates of food, but his metabolism was leaps and bounds greater than his non-enhanced company. Grace produced the book and set Bill to writing the first entry of the year while she and Joy began clearing the table. Avery was passed to a pleased Noelle.

Bucky drifted to her side, standing just over her shoulder. Noelle held Avery to her chest, the baby’s head resting on her left shoulder. Avery slept soundly. “She’s so tiny.” Bucky remarked softly. “Are all babies this tiny?”

Noelle smiled. “She’s actually quite average sized. You’re just gigantic.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Steven calls me old, you call me gigantic – is this ‘Abuse Bucky Day’ and someone forgot to tell me?”

Noelle tried to contain her laughter, but a few giggles escaped. Avery didn’t wake. “Steven called you old?”

“He said that he wasn’t allowed to touch Avery because he’s too young, but that I probably could because I am old.”

“That’s not what I said.” Noelle rolled her eyes. “He isn’t allowed to touch her hands or feet because of germs, and he can only pick her up when an adult is watching.”

“Well, at least he understood the part about him not being able to touch her.”

“Yeah, that’s true. And to be fair to Steven, you are kinda old.”

Bucky smirked.

Noelle cocked her head. “You called yourself ‘Bucky’ just then.”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

“Is that what you would rather be called? At least when it’s just the two of us?” Noelle asked. “It _is_ your name. Well, nickname. You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know. I’ve gotten used to ‘James.’” Bucky mused. He had been ‘James’ for so long, and the person that ‘Bucky’ was seemed so foreign sometimes that he didn’t know. Until that moment, he hadn’t given any thought to the importance of a name.

“Do you want to think on it? Let me know later?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah.”

Noelle smiled. “Okay.” Noelle tilted her head. “Would you like to hold her, James?”

Bucky’s eyes widened. His heart raced just thinking about it. He began to shake his head and take a step backward.

Noelle’s smile softened. “It’s okay. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” She adjusted Avery slightly. “You’re not going to hurt her.”

Bucky looked down at his hands. Bloodied hands like his had no right. His hands weren’t gentle enough. They weren’t pure enough.

“How’s it going over here, kids?” Bill wandered over from the couch.“I got Steven writing his bit now.”

“I guess that means it’s almost my turn.” Noelle said, glancing down at Avery. “Steven usually only writes a few words.” Sure enough, Steven bounced over, waving the small book in the air.

“Here, I’ll take her.” Bill scooped Averyout of Noelle’s arms. “You go do your thing.” Noelle brushed Bucky’s arm as she walked away. His eyes followed her.

Bucky and Bill stood in silence for a brief moment.

“So when are you gonna tell my daughter that you love her?” Bill asked pleasantly, as if he was commenting on the weather.

Bucky made a choking sound.

“Okay, maybe ‘love’ is too strong a word for just now.” Bill allowed with a half shrug. “But you do care about her. Anyone with eyes can see that.” He tapped the side of his head. “And my eyes are quite sharp.”

“I don’t… I don’t...” Bucky struggled for words.

“It’s okay, son. You take your time. With yourself, and with Noelle. But you seem like a fine fellow. I daresay Noelle feels the same. I’d say that she likes you. Steven, too.”

“Steven’s a good kid.” Bucky’s low voice was gruffer than he intended.

How the hell was this happening.

What the hell was happening.

Bill adjusted Avery on his shoulder. “Noelle had a hard time of it after Robert died. Got really withdrawn, pensive – even around us. She’d been recovering well before she met you, but there’s been a change recently. A good one. She’s been happier. Truly happy. I don’t care what spat you and Mike had – if Noelle vouches for you, that’s good enough for me. Just make her happy.” Bill slapped Bucky on the shoulder.

Bucky nodded mutely.

“Well, I’m off to the kitchen to see if the girls need any help in the kitchen.” Bill said. “You be sure to write in the book after Noelle. She should be done in a few minutes. That girl never was brief.”

Bill drifted away, leaving Bucky speechless and befuddled.

Bucky studied Noelle. She sat on the couch, shoulders haunched as she wrote in the book. She looked peaceful and content. Her lips were curled in a soft smile. She laughed quietly at a memory before scribbling more rapidly.

Yes, Bucky did care for Noelle. She was kind, and sweet, and gentle. She was funny and intelligent. And saw _him_. Him – James Buchanan Barnes. Not the Winter Soldier. Not a broken man with a metal arm. She was beautiful, too. He couldn’t deny the fact that he was attracted to her.

Did he love her?

Bucky wasn’t certain he knew what that was. He knew he didn’t deserve it.

But he cared for Noelle and Steven more than he cared about anyone else. And he cared about Noelle in a...unique way. In a...romantic way.

Bucky felt like he had been struck by lightning.

Noelle chose that moment to stand and face him with a smile. “Your turn.” She walked over and handed him the thin book and pen. She frowned slightly. “Are you feeling alright? You’ve got a funny expression.”

“I’m fine.” His answer was automatic.

Noelle raised an eyebrow – clearly not convinced – but said nothing.

“Really.” He looked down, surprised to see his hand cradling hers. He dropped it with a muttered apology.

Noelle’s eyes were wide, her mouth open slightly. Pink colored her cheeks and her chest rose and fell more rapidly than normal. He could feel heat color his own cheeks.

Bucky cleared his throat and took a step backwards. “So, uh, what do I write?”

Noelle licked her lips and rubbed the back of her neck. “Just whatever you’re thankful for. Doesn’t have to be much. Just...whatever.”

Noelle hastened away. She disappeared into her bedroom. Bucky heard her door close.

Bucky sat down at the table and opened the book. The first page was dated eight years ago. Bill consistently wrote less than three sentences a year, averaging only two sentences. Noelle, Grace, and Joy averaged a page each. Their handwriting was surprisingly similar, though each was unique in its own way. He thumbed through the pages to that years section. His eyes were drawn to a paragraph that Noelle had written.

“But I am particularly thankful for James.” Noelle had written. “He has experienced all the worst parts of life. He has endured hardships and trials beyond imagination. Yet he has remained kind, caring, and compassionate. He is a wonderful role model for Steven. I am proud to know him. I am thankful that he is in our lives, and I look forward to our times together in the future.”

Tears prickled Bucky’s eyes. He tried to rub them away.

He could never match her eloquence.

Nevertheless, he seated himself at the table and stared down at the blank page. He wasn’t one for flowery words and grandiose expressions of emotion. But he, at length, wrote the only thing he could.

“I am thankful for Noelle and Steven, the lights of my life.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No man wants a ready-made family.” Noelle’s voice cracked as she spoke.  
> Bucky crossed his arms tightly and dug his nails into the palms of his hands. Someone would have to be an imbecile to pass Noelle over because she had a child, especially because Steven was the sweetest child alive. Bucky would count himself as the luckiest of men if Noelle and Steven allowed him to be a permanent part of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotions are complicated.

Bucky leaned back against the couch. Steven was happily entertaining himself with his Legos, playing at Bucky’s feet. Noelle, Grace, and Joy were occupied in the kitchen. He was carefully observing the chess match between Bill and Mike; he was set to play the winner.

“You two seem pretty cozy.” Joy commented.

Bucky could hear every word of the women’s conversation with his enhanced hearing.

“We’re good friends. And he’s practically my neighbor.” Noelle’s voice was slightly higher than usual – though the change was probably undetectable to her normal ears.

“Yes, that is why you’re blushing. Don’t think we didn’t notice the way you look at him, or those little touches.”

“Joy, really.” Noelle muttered. “He’s...He’s just a friend.”

“We don’t doubt that he’s a friend. It’s the ‘just’ part that we’re questioning.” Grace said. “There’s no shame in feeling romantically towards him, or even in being attracted to him. He’s a wonderful young man, who clearly adores you and Steven, and we know that Steven thinks the world of him.”

“It’s been nearly three years.” Joy said gently.

“I know how long it’s been.” Noelle snapped. Bucky winced. “Sorry.” She mumbled. Bucky heard Noelle sigh.

There was silence in the kitchen for nearly a full minute.

“No man wants a ready-made family.” Noelle’s voice cracked as she spoke.

Bucky crossed his arms tightly and dug his nails into the palms of his hands. Someone would have to be an imbecile to pass Noelle over because she had a child, especially because Steven was the sweetest child alive. Bucky would count himself as the luckiest of men if Noelle and Steven allowed him to be a permanent part of their lives.

Noelle’s father had hit very near the mark.

“I think James in there would _strongly_ disagree with you.” Joy stated. He could hear a smirk in her voice. “Really, James seems like the total package. He’s cute, good with Steven, is crazy about you, and has a good job. And he’s sane. What’s not to love?”

Bucky could think of a lot of things. He clenched his metal hand harder.

“I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Bucky’s heart broke for Noelle.

“You know what Robert would want.” Grace said quietly. “But you need to know what _you_ want. Don’t be afraid to move forward. You know Steven would whole-heartedly approve. Dating someone else doesn’t mean you love Robert any less – you wouldn’t be betraying him.”

Noelle was silent for a moment. “Robert and James would have been great friends.” Noelle remarked quietly. “He wouldn’t have wanted me to stop living.” She paused. “And he wouldn’t have wanted Steven to grow up without a father.”

Neither Grace or Joy responded. Bucky suspected they were hugging. Women hugged a lot.

“Mr. James.” Steven was tugging on Bucky’s pant leg. “Did you hear Grandpa and Uncle Mike?”

Bucky, so engrossed in listening and thought, had missed the conclusion of the match. He felt a modicum of chagrin; it was unlike him to be caught off guard. “I guess I didn’t.”

“Lost in thought there, son?” Bill asked. There was a knowing glimmer in his eyes.

“Something like that.”

“Well, Mike here won.” Bill gestured to the victor. “How long has it been since you last played chess?”

Bucky knew that he played chess a lot when he was younger. He didn’t remember any matches or even who he played it with – but instinct told him that he knew how and that he had been good. Bill and Mike’s moves had triggered memories of his hand passing over the board, capturing pieces. It seemed his hands remembered what his brain did not. The Winter Soldier never played chess, though highly strategic thinking was required for survival – both in the war and as the Soldier. Between the two, Bucky was fairly certain he would be able to hold his own.

“It’s been a bit.”

“Fair warning – I am going to destroy you.” Mike informed him with a grin. Bucky raised an eyebrow and took Bill’s spot. They reset the board.

Bucky didn’t feel the need to respond to the taunt. Their performance would speak for itself.

Although he began rough, Bucky quickly recovered. He and Mike were evenly matched. Although Mike won the first match, Bucky won the second. Bucky felt a glimmer of his old competitiveness emerge and he smiled internally. They were about to start the third match to determine the champion when the women announced that the desserts were warm and ready to be devoured. Bucky and Mike agreed that the conclusion of their tournament could wait.

Pie was always more important – especially good pie. Noelle had yet to make something that Bucky hadn’t liked, and the meal had taught him that Noelle came from a family of wonderful cooks – dessert promised to be divine. Bucky helped himself to a slice of the apple and pecan pies. He was far from disappointed.

“I hear you and Mike went a few rounds.” Noelle remarked quietly as she sidled up beside him. The family had elected to spread out across the living room rather than confine themselves to the table. Bill turned the TV on, Mike joining him. Steven sandwiched himself proudly between the two men on the couch. Grace and Joy doted on Avery.

Bucky smirked. “Yeah, we did.”

Noelle laughed softly.

Bucky hesitated a moment. “Later, we need to have a conversation.”

Noelle eyes widened slightly. Her breath froze on an inhale. “What about?” She tried very hard to be casual and failed miserably.

Bucky shifted so that his body was angled more towards her. “We got lucky today. Mike is a friendly. But there are people out there who would not respond as kindly as your brother-in-law.”

Noelle swallowed hard, frowning slightly, but nodded.

“Some would try to kill me outright. They aren’t as problematic.” Noelle’s face said that she strongly disagreed. “Others… Others would want to use me.” He waited, hoping she might come to the same conclusion. Her frown deepened.

She had.

“What are you saying?” She kept her voice low. She grabbed his arm and dragged him around the corner into the kitchen. “Are you saying you don’t…you aren’t going to see us again? That you’re _leaving_ us?” There was a strong undercurrent of fury in her voice. Her eyes flashed dangerously at him.

Bucky shook his head. “No, not at all.” His hand brushed her arm before he forced it to his side. He sighed. “I couldn’t do that. It’d be useless, anyway. Anyone who would use you and Steven to get to me would discover you with ease. No, it’s too far gone for that.” Bucky winced. “I am sorry. I may have put you and Steven in danger.”

Noelle’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t be.” Her voice was harsher than Bucky had ever heard it. “I’m not. You have enriched Steven and I’s life beyond words. You’ve been an incredible friend, and I am thankful beyond words that you are in our lives. And danger is inevitable; Steven and I were at risk because of Robert’s job – it’s not like this is a new concept for us. So, if you think that I’m going to play martyr without a fight, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Bucky blinked. “I’m not trying to be a martyr.” He reiterated. “I’m not leaving. I’m not stupid.”

Noelle pursed her lips. “Good.”

“Can I continue now?” The corner of Bucky’s lip tipped upwards. Noelle huffed and crossed her arms, but nodded. “We need to come up with safe words and a plan – in case someone comes after you or me. I won’t let you get hurt because of me.”

Noelle’s hand twitched like she was going to touch him but refrained. “Alright.”

“Later. Tomorrow. Now probably isn’t the best time.”

She nodded. Bucky could tell that she was contemplating something very seriously.

A change swept over Noelle – in the look in her eyes, the way she held herself. It concerned Bucky.

“Okay.” Noelle’s voice was subdued, her face pensive. She was worried, but he couldn’t tell about what. “We should probably get back out there.”

Bucky nodded. “Hey, are you alright?”

Noelle smiled weakly. “Yeah. Just...a lot to think about.” She pushed her shoulders back, lifted her chin, and forced a brighter smile. She exited the kitchen before Bucky could press.

Bucky ran a hand through his hair. A knot was forming in the pit of his stomach. He huffed out a breath and then followed Noelle. He lingered on the edge of the room. Noelle had immediately thrown herself into conversation with Grace and Joy, and was holding Avery close. Steven had wandered over to them.

Noelle maintained a polite distance from Bucky for the rest of the day. She hardly spoke to him, but he could feel her eyes on him when he wasn’t looking. Something was bothering her. He didn’t know what their conversation had triggered, but it had certainly triggered something. He could see it in her eyes when he caught her looking at him – she was worried and afraid. But of what…

Bucky wished he could fix it.

He would learn tomorrow.  Whatever was wrong needed to be resolved. He’d be certain that it was.


End file.
